I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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