Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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