I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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