HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
