thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize