R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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