all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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