Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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