just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Rumble strips road head = magical
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
