we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
