I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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