i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
