no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
