bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
