So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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