I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize