Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
