She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
