Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
