Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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