clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
