Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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