Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
