Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
