It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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