Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
