Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
