I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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