Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
no, he came in my armpit
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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