Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
