I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
