She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize