guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
