Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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