It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
