So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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