Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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