I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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