the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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