Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
it hurts more in the daytime
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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