We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
