i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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