the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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