I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
