Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
