I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
