Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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