HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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