Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
