im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
