He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i think im in europe. pls send help
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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