Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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