Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
