Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize