it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
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