so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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