so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
