I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
