I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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