I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
