Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
