thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
