I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
