she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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